I don’t know how many times people have said (in jest) to me in a first session, “Is there any way to improve my marriage quickly and painlessly? Can you just give me a pill?”
Of course, we laugh knowing that there is no pill to cure our relationship ills. But…there is something that is rather extraordinary….
If you have spent any time working with me at my Denver office or online, you probably know that I am a huge proponent of meditation. Like HUGE.
We know, without a doubt, that meditation improves everything from focus to self-awareness. There is also research that suggests that meditation improves conditions such as asthma, fatigue, and cancer. The science behind how meditation affects the body is pretty spectacular and most health care and mental health providers will recommend a few minutes of meditation daily.
How amazing is it that the very thing that we need to help us focus, reduce stress, connect us more deeply with the present moment and improve our physical health is running through our bodies free of charge every moment of every day?
That’s right, your breath is the one thing that can improve everything. Always. Even right now.
I read a lot of books about relationships, meditation, spirituality, and personal growth. The one constant in everything that I read is the importance of coming back to one's breath: coming back to this moment, right now. To learn to be present in this moment, this feeling, this experience. To learn how to stretch into feeling this pain, this shame, this vulnerability.
Meditation and the breath has EVERYTHING to do with our relationships. Whether you are single, married, divorced, separated, widowed, or several of the above, your breath fuels and feeds who you are in a relationship with yourself and others.
Our breath helps to keep us anchored in ourselves. Right now focus on your breath, notice the rise and fall of your chest, let your energy drop a little deeper into your physical body and become aware of what happens. You might notice a gentle rhythm happening between your heart and your breath. You might feel your shoulders relax just a bit or your mind-chatter might quiet for a nanosecond. Just notice what happens.
If you just spent that 8 seconds noticing your breath, two things happened. 1) You got curious. 2) You connected more deeply to yourself.
Both of these things: curiosity and connection will serve you immensely in your relationship with yourself and your relationship with your partner.
It all begins with your breath. If you don’t have a meditation or mindfulness practice, then start by noticing your breath. And then give me a call and I can help guide you to the practice that will support your own personal growth and transformation.
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