I joke with my clients often that I am going to write two books: How To Be A Grown Ass Man and How To Be A Grown Ass Woman.
Full disclaimer: all of us have parts of ourselves that need to be grown up, so as special as you are, you are not that unique in needing some up-leveling. In other words, don’t take this too personally. ;-)
Being a grown ass woman means being accountable for your actions and inactions. Knowing that your criticism, contempt and yes your nagging creates a difficult environment for connection and intimacy. If you have been bugging your partner about their lack of attention, engagement or willingness to listen, take a look at how you contribute to this problem.
Grown ass women take responsibility for the energy that they bring into a space including their marriage or significant relationships. Oprah apparently has a sign in her dressing room that says, “please be responsible for the energy that you bring into this space”. That means learning how to CONTAIN but EXPRESS your feelings without CONTAMINATING those around you.
Learn how to CONTAIN without CONTAMINATING...
Grown ass women can listen to their partners and spouses to get to know what they need from a relationship and are interested and willing to creating a space for these needs to be mutually fulfilled. Grown ass women practice asking for what they want in a relationship in a non-demanding, direct, and clear manner.
Grown ass women know that it never serves their relationship to talk about or treat their male or female partners like children. And if right now, you are thinking, “Well, I wouldn’t treat him like a child if he didn’t act like one” then just stop what you are doing and call us now. ;-)
[Hint: if you come in, your therapist might ask you the very annoying question, ‘How are you treating him like a child?’ or ‘How do you encourage him to be a child?’ Sounds crazy, I know but soooo many women say, ‘Well, I cannot put him in charge of more around the house because he doesn’t know how to do it right!’]
Grown ass women understand that if they have an agreement to be in a monogamous relationship with their partner that finding healthy, mutually pleasurable, and healthy ways to navigate sex and get their needs met is important.
Grown ass women take the time to learn, discover and explore what they want sexually, intimately and spiritually in a relationship. They know that pleasure is what defines sex, not intercourse.
There is a reason why we don’t usually want 15-year-olds to get married — because they are not grown ass women and grown ass men and they do not have the skills or developmental ability to engage in the honest and rewarding work of being a grown ass couple.
If this post is interesting then call us. We get that relationships are hard work -- and that BOTH partners have work to do: see the previous post about men.
Our work is to help level you up in a relationship so that you might find the satisfaction and contentment in your life that you are looking for.
Call us right now, 720.457.3342. Really.
We enjoy doing this work and would enjoy doing it with you as well.