When was the last time you had a really hard, honest, and vulnerable conversation with your best friend?
The kind of conversation that makes your belly feel sick and your throat close up.
The kind of conversation that happens and you think, “I can’t believe I am about to say this out loud.”
When was the last time that you spoke the naked and honest truth to someone who you love deeply and widely? Someone who you might feel closer to than even your spouse or your family.
When was the last time that you stepped right into the brilliance of life and felt yourself desperately wanting to disappear in a flash?
I had this kind of conversation recently with my very-best, go-to-for-everything friend.
It was a conversation that doesn’t happen often…when the truth was spoken with love and humility. When old wounds were revealed and fear was laid on the table and spread out like a worn deck of playing cards. The tentative and tender feeling of someone else picking up your worn fear and looking at it, turning it over, and setting it back down.
The sheer humanity of the whole experience was extraordinary. Raw. Uncomfortable. Exposed.
In this place, I witnessed this relationship twist almost writhe under the strain and discomfort. And then, I saw the relationship begin to stretch. I felt myself and my friend stretch.
I saw this friendship…MY friendship began to grow and expand into something that is yet to be determined but something that is transformed. Not buried, not shamed, not damned. Something changed.
Our friendships don’t just happen. Our friendships are earned. In order to earn the right to sit at the table with another human being, you can choose to ante up your vulnerability. Your friend can respond in kind. And the alchemy that happens with that gift that you both offer can change you both profoundly.
Friendships. They don’t just “happen”…they are made.
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