The Science of Love and the Guy in the Pink Tutu
A recent article on Psychology Today by Melanie Greenberg, “Ten Science-Based Facts About Love” provides some great information about how love works which gives us clues on how to make it work for us.
Take number #3 on the list for example: Building Lasting Love Relationships Takes Work
Research supports what many couples’ therapists have been training couples to do for years: feed and nourish your relationship. It is not rocket science and yet somehow we believe that if “it is meant to be” it will be easy. Relationships are work…just like raising kids, getting an education, and saving for retirement. It doesn’t just happen.
Or how about #6: If We Focus On Love, We Can Enhance It
I tell my couples all of the time, “What you focus on grows.” Focusing on the places where your relationship is broken or the many ways that your partner annoys you and what will grow? Your displeasure, frustration, and irritation. The answer is not to pretend that these irritations don’t exist but rather to be present with the tough spots while also being present to what works. Such dual attention requires inner strength and an ability to step out of black-and-white or good-and-bad thinking.
Have you seen the guy in the pink tutu? Bob Carey’s wife Linda was diagnosed with cancer. And in an effort to bring out some joy and laughter, Bob began taking photos of himself in a pink tutu…sitting quietly next to a pond, frolicking near the shore. Linda would take the photos with her to her chemo treatments and laugh with her nurses and doctors. How did Bob manage this? By opening himself to vulnerability.
And number #7: Love Is Not A Fixed Quantity
Just today a client was sharing with me his “Aha!” moment when he realized that there is no shortage of love in his heart or in the world. He eloquently described the experience of feeling an expansion in his chest when he sloughed off an old concept about having a finite amount of love for his children, partner, and friends. What a relief to stretch into this expansion that there is an abundance of love.
Yes, love is magical and can feel mysterious in its power to overcome us and sweep us away. But love is also practical, subtle and quiet growing or languishing in the nooks and crannies of our lives every day.
What is love like in your life and do you want to feel more of it? Call Jenny Glick licensed marriage and family therapist and see how to grow the love in your life now. Schedule a free 20-minute consultation now by clicking the red button below or call (720) 457-3342. Decide. Show up. Transform.