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"The Opposite of Love is Not Hate, It Is Indifference”

Couples Therapy Denver CO
Ely Gazel, prolific writer and Holocaust survivor famously said, “the opposite of love is not hate, it is indifference”.If you have ever had a lover who didn’t call, a partner who ignored or rebuked your physical advances or a parent who neglected you, you know this is true.To be unseen is to be invisible. It is to not matter. To not have value. To be meaningless. And to not existent.Most people walk around with a corner of their psyche that already feels not good enough, that feels like a fraud or a failure, that feels unlovable, or like they do not belong anywhere.When that wound gets activated through indifference by ...

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Don’t Allow Habit to Ruin Your Relationship

Denver Counseling
Pema Chodron teaches “whatever you do you are strengthening that habit".She goes on to teach that humans so often mindlessly allow habituated thoughts, feelings, and actions to create stress, anxiety, and fear in their lives. Without much awareness about the process, you unconsciously get better at the things that bring us disconnection, loneliness, and pain.If you have spent more than six months with a partner or lover, you have likely already begun to develop a number of habits — thoughts both good and not-so-generous about the person, feelings both good and not-so-generous, and actions both good and not-so-generous. If you are like many people, you have a slight tendency to ...

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What does it cost your partner to be in relationship with you?

Our culture does a great job selling us the idea of The One — the one person who is a great fit:sexuallyemotionallymentallyphysicallyI hate to break it to you but The One is a myth. It does not exist.If you want to be in a long-term relationship — and some people do not — but if you do want to play house with someone, maybe have kids, maybe blend your lives together than you must be willing to settle for some things that are annoying and bothersome. You have to learn to let that ...

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“Here is my sinister plan…shhhhh…don’t tell…”

Individual Therapy Denver CO
I started my career working exclusively with children.Foster children, homeless children, teenagers of all shapes and sizes, young children, old children, rich children and poor children.I doggedly engaged in learning all kinds of fancy therapies to help these children:art therapy,play therapy,sand tray therapy,reality therapy,wilderness therapy,dance therapy,…and the list goes on…in order to engage, heal and guide these young people.And then one day it occurred to me."Everyday, I am sending these children back home to their families."Back into their same systems, their same dynamics that in some cases created the ...

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Do I need a sex therapist?

Sex therapy is a specific arm of psychotherapy that provides education, resources, and guidance for individuals and couples who are struggling with a wide array of issues. Sex and intimacy are foundational in our relationships -- how much sex, what kind of sex, whether we have sex or not -- all of these aspects of sex tend to come up in our coupledom at some point in our lives. May people wonder, "am I normal?!" [HINT: chances are that you definitely are] but would like to talk with someone who specializes in sex...just to make sure.Some of the issues that you ...

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3 Reasons Why Your Sex Life Might Just Suck

If you are in a committed relationship chances are you have had an argument with your partner about sex. If you have never had such an argument — bravo you! But you might check in with you partner to be sure that they too are satisfied and not keeping mum in order to avoid a fight.#1 You have forgotten that sex is about pleasure and not necessarily about penetration.Sure, for many couples penetration is a part of the sexual event — but it certainly doesn’t need to be 1) the main event or the 2) only event.Sometimes penetration ...

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