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I tell wives all of the time, “Your husband is a grown ass man and can take care of his own feelings.”

This after the wife has said that she cannot possibly tell him the truth, the whole truth because he cannot handle it.

This, ladies, is a TERRIBLE strategy that results in you infantilizing your husband, protecting him from his emotions, and behaving (often) like his mommy and not his equal. This is a problem, big time, and will result in contempt, belittling, resentment, and power struggles in your relationship. [Note: women need to learn how to grow up often as well! Next month's post is about How to Be ...

Our culture does a great job selling us the idea of The One — the one person who is a great fit:

• sexually
• emotionally
• mentally
• physically

I hate to break it to you but The One is a myth. It does not exist.

If you want to be in a long-term relationship — and some people do not — but if you do want to play house with someone, maybe have kids, maybe blend your lives together then you must be willing to settle for some things that are annoying and bothersome. You have to learn to let that ...

It is common that we get phone calls from husbands who say this exact statement. 

He will start by saying, “I need to make an appointment for myself for individual counseling.” When we ask, “Tell me a little bit about what is going on that brings you to make this phone call today.”

He will go on:

• “Well…she has asked me to go to couples counseling a few years ago but I refused.”
• “Now she is saying that she cannot do this any longer.”
• “I knew that she was unhappy but I didn’t realize that she was ...

Many people have heard the statistics that anywhere between 40 and 70% of couples in a committed relationship will experience an affair (an 'affair' defined very broadly here from sexual interaction to flirting via text).

Infidelity is one of the number one reasons why couples find themselves in a therapists office.

Why?

Because prior to the affair, the couple likely was unable to address some tough issues. They were likely unable to have those very very uncomfortable conversations...

• "I don't know that I'm in love with you anymore."
• "I feel attracted to a co-worker."
• "I'm not attracted ...

Think about football for a minute...two teams engaging in a rough battle to win.

Think about when one team member engages in foul play and the referee throws the flag. The ref's job is to regulate the game, highlight infractions, and ensure all players are in compliance with safety regulations. The ref calls players out for violating agreements of the ...

We deal with affairs everyday at our offices.

People are lonely. People are disconnected. People make choices that hurt people that they love.

Most of us know couples who have managed to stay together after affairs. But the real work is the work of healing after an affair.

It is typical that the hurt-partner wants to know everything that the affair-partner did with the other person:​

• Did you have sex?
• Did you use protection?
• When and where did you have sex?
• When did it start?
• When ...